If you think Mary Magdalene can’t be changed into Queen Esther, you don’t know who Jesus is. Yesterday we went to place in a town we normally don’t venture through. As soon as we got there, I saw a man from my past with whom I got pregnant from and had an abortion with. My heart stopped for a moment when I saw him, and he saw me. He was with a woman. I was with my husband and children. He smiled. I smiled. Then, I looked away. Thank God my family and I proceeded to move to another area because I really was so clouded in that instance. The whole encounter happened so fast. All of a sudden, there I was- caught in between “then” and “now”.Of course, I shared this information with my husband immediately. I mean, my life flashed before me so suddenly. Old emotions began to stir. I must’ve seemed somewhere else in my mind because without hesitating, my adoring husband grabbed my hand, kissed my cheek and reminded me of how much I’m loved.
<3Following his gestures, I sat in that seat for what seemed like forever just soaking in how much the Lord loves me. I meditated on how His forgiveness is beyond comprehension! I thought on how my sin is removed as far as the east is from the west. And I literally felt warmth come over me right then and there.
You see, I had grieved the sin of my abortion shortly after receiving Jesus into my heart. Since that time, I have repented, cried out and even went so far as to ask Father God what gender the baby would’ve been. I felt He told me the child was a boy. And in the healing process, I gave this child, who is now in Heaven, the name Jack.
When I met my husband years after this happened, I told him of my shady past. And in his graciousness, he just loved on me. He acknowledged this as such a big part of my life to the point of honoring Jack upon my request by giving our son the middle name Jaxton.
So, why do I share such an intimate, personal story? Well, because I know I’m not the only one who needs to see how one so wretched as myself could be saved, restored, forgiven and loved regardless of anything and everything I’ve ever done.
My prayer is that when your past confronts you in the face (like it literally did me yesterday), you could also feel the sweet touch of your Savior as I did in that moment. Receive His mercy and compassions no matter how ugly you think your heart is because as we confess our sins, Jesus is faithful and just to release us from all unrighteousness! We are completely cleansed by His shed Blood on that Cross! And with His Spirit now helping you: the shame, guilt and condemnation begins to disappear. Though the pain and darkness of your former life can be recalled, now true freedom can be embraced. That’s why I can write this to you after all.
Hear me… I don’t put this out on social media because I’m proud of my poor choices. No. I share it because someone needs to read about real redemption. And if I can lay but one piece of my “Mary Magdalene turned Queen Esther” testimony out there to impart hope to you, I’m glad. And then maybe in turn you will do the same and go forth setting other captives free!
<3
I needed this – thanks Cristine for sharing your heart. How great is our God to give you this encounter so that you can turn to Him and receive His love? And, right after publishing your post! Much love from a freedom seeking captive 💜
In it with you always, Tara! WE ARE kindred spirits! I am glad the Lord has explicitly told me to be forthright with explaining who He is and what Him & I have been through together. So, if that blesses someone like yourself who has blessed me in excess over the course of time we’ve known each other… then, that just affirms the fact that I’m doing right what He would have me to right now. <3 Thank you for being you!
Nothing is a coincidence, Sis.. the Lord permitted you to accidentally come across that guy from the past only to show you how He has wiped that slate clean and His love for you is eternal… even your husband showed Our Jesus’s love through himself to you by loving you regardless of what choices you had made in the past (and all of us have made poor choices or have hurt our Lord in some way.. I know I have more than you, sis, since some of my poor choices were after I had already accepted Jesus when I was 16.)
PS. I love how you have acknowleged your son in Heaven and have given him a name. I recall reading several after life experiences where the people testified that there are many many children in Heaven without names yet because the parents on Earth didn’t give them a name before they died. Jack is smiling in Heaven because His earthly mother (you) found Jesus after his transition to Heaven from the womb, and he is one of the few children (now he’s probably a young adult Up There!) whose earthly mother decided he was special and loved after all, and cant’ wait to see him after she gets to Heaven! I know he is part of that “cloud of witnesses” thinking of his earthly family on earth., (I just received a confirmation in my spirit on that just now too) and he’s definitely praying for you all here.. enjoying seeing your daughters grow and you and your husband..
love, lisa